If you’re having emotional problems, you can afford therapy. If you’re having romantic problems, you can rent a hooker.

If you’re having physical problems, you hire a trainer and get in shape.

If I EVER meet the asshole that said, “Money can’t buy happiness,” I’m gonna break my empty bottle of Glenlivet over his throat.

Then again, if you’re a gambling junkie AND you have money, you can always afford ONE more game.

Speaking of hookers, Dallas police said this week that they expect the number of prostitutes in the region to sharply rise for this February's NBA All-Star game and again for the 2011 Super Bowl XLV...

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