If you're not, it's a show in which hapless women trick their boyfriends, the "tools," into going on a television show that turns out to be an academy—a boarding school if you will—for tools.

Now, the show is replete with life's cornucopia of stereotypical tools: The "Slacker Tool," the "Naked Tool," the "Spray Tan Tool," and the "Tat Tool," for instance.

In my few viewings of the show, I began to think, no, ponder, what's the "tooliest" (if "tooliest" isn't a word, it is now) position in professional sports?

What position inundates us, the sports loving public, with a surfeit of tools?

No, it isn't perimeter scorer in the NBA.

No, it also isn't Boston Red Sox left fielder, though...

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