"Joe Paterno," we replied. The rest is just pithy detail, but safe to say that the person listening to our side of the conversation was moved to tears. And no, we've never met the guy.

But seriously: When you've never gone to a 'I-AA' school, live nowhere near a 'I-AA' school (like most of Nebraska), or live in a country where the term or concept 'I-AA' or collegiate athletics is a completely alien one, choosing the 'right' college football team can be quite the ordeal—unless you follow our set of hints, which'll be coming at you over the next six or seven days.