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Cincinnati Bengals Week 3 Preview: The Annual Pittsburgh Steeler Invasion

Published on: 24th September, 2009

Dick LeBeau and his pack of wild attack dogs float down the Ohio River in a weather-beaten, black frigate this weekend looking to pillage and plunder the first football team it comes across.   The fair citizens of Cincinnati are alerted to hide away their children and precious metals ...

Cincinnati Bengals Week Two Recap: Like a Sack Of Wrenches

Published on: 22nd September, 2009

Marvin Lewis should feel more at ease with the team he has reassembled; it's the kind he likes.   The Bengals caught Green Bay with a surprise left hook to the jaw on Sunday, leaving the Packers battered, bewildered and beaten on their own turf. The new program that Marvin now ...

Cincinnati Bengals Week Two Preview: Cheese Whiz

Published on: 17th September, 2009

The last time I remember the Bengals playing a regular season game at Lambeau Field, Brett Favre made his Packer debut and led Green Bay to a fourth quarter comeback win. It was early in the season, the Bengals were 2-0, the Packers were winless, Cincinnati was up 17-3 in the ...

Cincinnati Bengals Working Out the Kinks

Published on: 16th September, 2009

Last Sunday, Marvin Lewis and his coaches stood in front of a hulking object, covered in a tarp inside of Paul Brown Stadium. A crowd gathered around it and the tarp was removed. There stood the new Bengals machine of 2009, shiny and new, purring idly and waiting to operate. ...

Cincinnati Bengals Week 1 Play-By-Play Analysis

Published on: 14th September, 2009

Roy Williams prevents huge run on first play by Buckhalter.   Geathers on nice run stuff.   Marshall drops screen pass   No pass rush, nice coverage by Crocker.   First play of the year is a run up the middle for no gain.  Imagine that.   Second play is run off tackle for no gain.   Good pass protection; 18 yards ...

Cincinnati Bengals Week One Recap: Stuff Happens

Published on: 14th September, 2009

After the stunned silence and the eruption of outrage, after the philosophical musings about the mysterious ways of the universe and after letting it go with a sigh and a beer, we can talk about what happened yesterday in a serious, analytical tone that has nothing to do with hexes ...

Marvin Tries Again: Revenge Of The Myth

Published on: 8th September, 2009

The team that will follow Marvin Lewis out of the tunnel and onto the field against the Broncos on Sunday, marks the coach's second attempt at constructing a successful NFL roster.    Lewis' first go at constructing his own team in 2003 was essentially a patch-work job that consisted of second-rate free ...

More Andre Smith Humor: Lard Knocks

Published on: 3rd September, 2009

Andre Smith is so fat, the bones in his feet fracture under the weight of his enormous girth. The rookie broke his foot just two days after ending a lengthy holdout during a non-contact drill. This only adds to the speculation that Smith is grossly out of shape and also ...

Chris Henry Looking to Cash In on His Ninth Life

Published on: 17th July, 2009

Bengals wide-out Chris Henry may have been foolish a half-dozen or so times, but he’s no dummy.  He’s well aware that his contract runs out after this year, and as it is for every player in that situation, big plays can translate into big bucks.  “I'm planning on coming in ...

Might as Well Buy a Graham: Cincinnati Bengals Re-Sign Their Kicker

Published on: 16th July, 2009

The value of a kicker in Cincinnati is still unknown as the Bengals were unable to strike a long-term deal with franchise-tagged place-kicker Shayne Graham, before the time to negotiate expired on Wednesday.  Shugah Shayne will earn a cool $2.5 million for the upcoming season, the average of the top-five ...

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